On a nostalgic whim I logged into this account for the first time in a while. My feelings about my time in this community are very mixed. On the one hand, I was subjected to some really horrific bullying and general mistreatment for something as basic as being "annoying." On the other hand, I met a few really great people here. Not the least of whom is my partner Fanaidh-Balaichean who I've known for nearly 15 years now having originally become friends via the #devart chat. I'm still a baker, I work hard and make simple, beautiful things for people to eat with quite a lot of pride in my craft. For all the other ups and downs, I do love my work. Most of my internet socializing is done on Discord or Twitch these days, and I suppose my general behaviors around that haven't changed much.
I'm interested to see if anyone on here finds this journal, and in doing so maybe finds me elsewhere. I have encountered a few deviants in the wild over the years. ffleret, my old tabpwn buddy, is in some similar Twitch circles. Ho-ohLover was lovely to meet at AGDQ in 2019. I still consider haldron a friend, though we don't talk much and likely won't see each other in person again now that I'm no longer nearby.
And just as a side note... I've outlived several of the people who were awful to me. I suppose it kinda goes to show the spiel about people being nasty online because they're unhappy people has some truth to it. Every time I hear another one, I wish I could say that I'm the bigger person and feel sorry for them but I really am not. The garbage people that eventually drove me away from this community can burn. I don't have an ounce of sympathy for them, living or dead. I'm not even sorry for their families and friends, because as much as I'm sure it sucks for them it would have also sucked a lot for my family and friends if I'd done as I was so frequently told here and killed myself, something which was much closer to happening than maybe most knew. I'm not sorry. I'm alive, despite it all, and fuck it I'm pretty close to thriving. If I had a better way to rub it in the faces of all the people who did these things to me I would.